FRIDAY!! Conferences over. No more students for a week. YES!!! Conferences went OK. A couple of hard ones but overall I was pleased and the parents seemed happy which is good. My one "hard" conference involved recommending a student for retention. First time I have done this so it is not like I take it lightly. I had spoken to the mother before and mentioned that this would something we might discuss at conference. During that phone call she seemed to be agreeable to retention if needed. But during the conference she started with "at home he/she can do this." When I was questioned on what students were expected to read at school I pulled out an anthology book and had the student read from the story that we will read when we come back from break. The student knew less then half the words and struggled.
Then the mom started to ask about the child paying attention in class. I said the child was great at paying attention and worked very hard. I mentioned that I felt the child had hit a wall, just unable to learn anymore at this time and that the work had just become too hard for the student. Then mom starts grilling the child about paying attention and saying the child needs to pay attention and do the work or else be home schooled like the sister. Child began to cry. Then the mother asked the child if they want to go on to second grade or repeat first. Of course the child says move to second. When ask, do you want to come back to first and become really good at the work and be ready for 2nd OR go to second where the work is going to be a little hard the student says they want to "do the work" and stay in first.
I felt so bad for the child. I was using the word "retention" and being very considerate of the student being there. For the parent to go off on the child was so wrong. I am not known as Mr. Sensitive but my heart ached for this child. I know the child is at their limits. I know the child would be so much more successful with another year in first.
We will see where this ends up. But now. I am heading on a cruise to be choked to death by a man-made piece of cloth. I will escape this weather that is bad even by our standards. Fun and sun, recharge my batteries and see if I can survive until the end of the school year.
That sounds awful! I am so sorry you and your student had to go through this. I've retained once and had a student from a different class repeat in my room once. Both times, I felt as though it was successful, but there was full buy-in from home. Hope your cruise is great!
ReplyDeleteThose little ones have such a short attention spans. On average how many kids do you have to hold back each year. Do the parents have to agree to holding the child back?
ReplyDeleteStories like this one really make me wonder how on earth K12 teachers manage to do their job. With all the other work they have to do, and the personal commitment to work well with children, often with less than adequate resources, and for little to no thanks on top of it all. I have my hands full teaching adults. I can't even imagine teaching children and dealing with parents too! Hats-off to you, and all K12 teachers. Stand your ground. Remain true to your values. Be strong. And keep up the good work.
ReplyDeleteRobert, My sense is you are an excellent teacher. You seem sensitive and in touch with your students. My youngest son struggled in 2nd grade after being moved from a school with only 25 students (k-6) to a school of 300 (k-4) and my husband and I went to the principal and requested that he repeat 2nd grade, she refused, on the grounds that it would upset him socially. I wish now we had INSISTED. He is fine now at age 28,but he had a hard time all the way through school no matter what we did. I am convinced that all students need that strong foundation when they are young otherwise it only gets harder.
ReplyDeleteRobert, my hat goes off to you! That would be so hard. I once had talked to a parent about retention, but they just wanted to do whatever I thought was best for their student. We didn't hold him back because of various reasons. On the flip side, I have also had parents that jump all over you for suggesting that their child was spending too much time and attention studying (3rd grade) and was stressing themselves out too much. It is never easy hearing something less than perfect about your child, but I wish parents would look past themselves sometimes and do what is best for their kid. Hope your Spring Break was fantastic!
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